What "Adolescence" Gets Dangerously Wrong About Young Men

The Netflix drama isn't just fiction—it's shaping how we view our sons, brothers, and future men.

Have you seen Netflix's new drama, “Adolescence”, about a 13-year-old boy who becomes violent? It's fiction. Yet somehow, it's now informing UK government policy on how to "handle" young men.

Let that sink in for a moment.

Boys Aren't Ticking Time Bombs

The show portrays young men as potential predators waiting to be "radicalized" online. But here's what it misses: boys today aren't monsters in waiting. They're lost, lonely, and desperately looking for someone to show them how to navigate their pain without hurting themselves or others.

This matters to all of us—especially if you're raising sons, mentoring young men, or simply care about the next generation.

When Fiction Becomes "Educational Material"

In "Adolescence," a 13-year-old from a stable home becomes violent after consuming "manosphere" content online. British Parliament is now discussing showing this to students as if it's a documentary rather than drama.

Here's the problem: there's not a single documented case of this exact scenario happening. Not one.

The real drivers of youth violence? Poverty. Lack of community. Absent mentors. Not Reddit threads or video clips.

This is what happens when society doesn't know what to do with male pain—it gets criminalized or labeled as dangerous until it eventually explodes or implodes.

The Mental Health Crisis No One's Addressing

Did you know nearly 1 in 5 self-identified incels contemplate suicide daily? And nearly half have considered ending their lives altogether.

Those aren't the stats of predators. Those are the stats of human beings in crisis.

Yet "Adolescence" skips this completely. Instead of showing lonely boys as vulnerable, they're portrayed as violent. Their struggle isn't met with compassion—it's met with suspicion.

Sound familiar? How often are men praised for performance but punished for pain?

Not All Online Male Spaces Are the Same

Let's be clear: the "manosphere" isn't one unified ideology. It's a messy collection of contradictory communities—many of which oppose each other.

Incel forums. Red pill coaches. Self-help gurus. Different messages, different causes, different solutions.

But young men flock to these spaces not because they're hateful—but because they're empty. Empty of mentors. Empty of emotional guidance. Empty of direction.

When society doesn't initiate boys into healthy manhood, the internet will fill that void—for better or worse.

The Show Gets One Thing Right: The Isolation

Ironically, "Adolescence" accurately portrays how the word "incel" is now used to bully young boys. In the show, the main character is humiliated online, his post gets hundreds of mocking responses, and he's ridiculed publicly.

That part is real.

Boys don't join these communities because they inherently hate women. They join because they feel rejected by everyone. Because somewhere along the way, masculinity became something to fix rather than channel.

What Boys Actually Need

Instead of more panic and finger-pointing, here's what would actually help:

• Real Male Mentors: Not influencers. Actual men who model strength, self-awareness, and service.

• Relationship Education: Not just sex ed, but how to handle rejection, regulate emotions, set boundaries, and communicate effectively.

• Mental Health Support That Works: Practical emotional resilience tools that don't shame them for being male.

• Purpose Over Performance: Teaching boys they're valued for who they are, not just what they achieve.

If you want to understand the full picture of what's being missed in this conversation, I've created an in-depth video analysis that breaks down both the show's problematic portrayal and evidence-based solutions that actually help young men thrive. Watch the video here.

This Isn't About a Netflix Show

It's about whether we let another generation of men suffer in silence. Whether we keep pretending that masculinity itself is the problem, instead of realizing that abandoned boys become struggling men.

If you want to support the young men in your life, start here:

Ask yourself: Where are you still performing to earn your worth? What emotions are you still suppressing? And what kind of example are you setting?

The boys in your life need to see that being a man means being whole—not perfect.

They need to know they're enough without having to earn it.

That's the conversation worth having.

What do you think? Have you seen "Adolescence"? I'd love to hear your thoughts in the comments below.